8/6/2023 0 Comments Wandweimg horae talking stick![]() is a good reminder about how to prevent a shutdown – whether it is in the government or in family law matters. What happened last week in Washington, D.C. The talking stick is really a way to keep the focus and make sure each person is heard. When things become heated, the conversation can easily become unbalanced and provocative. In any negotiation, we can easily lose sight of what is at the core of the dispute. How do we balance the discussion to ensure fairness? If we do not pass the virtual stick does the quieter person have the same opportunity? It is the mediator’s job to make sure that each person has an opportunity to express his or her thoughts as we work through the very significant issues in each family matter. This tool is an interesting one because it is a physical reminder of some of the virtual boundaries we discuss in mediation regarding how we will communicate. I have written often about dignity and respect in a negotiation and how important it is to create a safe space for individuals to be heard. The other person or persons must remain silent until his or her turn comes. Only the person holding the stick can speak while he or she holds the stick. It carries with it the freedom to say what is on one’s mind. The talking stick is used to designate who has the right to speak without interruption. Aside from this mishap, I think the talking stick did take the pressure off and refocus the dialogue so that it could be productive. This (unwittingly) caused property damage while passing the ball so it was replaced with a rubber ball. In Washington, D.C., the stick was reportedly replaced by a basketball. Sometimes a feather, stone, shell or some other object replaces the talking stick. caused me to think about the effect of using such a physical tool in negotiations. It has also been used in Africa by the Masai tribe. ![]() Just what is a talking stick and how can it be used as a means of working through impasse in a negotiation?Īccording to my research, American Indian (First Nation) tribes have used the talking stick for centuries as a way to have a fair hearing. ![]() Last week a ‘talking stick’ reportedly broke the stalemate over the government shutdown.
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